THAT mommy instinct
May 17, 2018
We all have it, and certain things make it rear its head, mommy instinct. Today, around 11:30am I got a message from Tristan’s class teacher that his finger had been slammed in a door. My first instinct, burst into tears because his pain in my pain! My second instinct was to rush to his side to try and make it all better and thirdly, I wanted to know who had done this to my precious child. How dare this other kid cause my child pain & harm; but it wasn’t intentional and I had to just rein that emotion back in.
So en route to school, while driving on the estate, a child (about std 3) came hairing around the corner on an electric scooter. She was firstly going way too fast, secondly, she was on the wrong side of the road, didn’t have a helmet on and it was a blind corner. I slammed on brakes and she slowed but not enough and smacked into the front wheel area of my car. I jumped out of the car to see if the girl was ok. She didn’t even have a scratch on her but we were both extremely shaken up. I called her mom to tell her what had happened and assure her that her daughter seemed fine when she’d left me but I was completely shaken.
Back to THAT mommy instinct we all have; it’s uncontrollable and it scares me sometimes as it’s a fierce, almost animal-like feeling that comes over one to do whatever is necessary to protect our children. When I got to school he was being so brave; said that the plaster had made it feel better and still wanted to go swimming; what a champ! I didn’t see the child that had done the door slamming but, as I said, it wasn’t intentional. His teacher & the school nurse had said he was so brave. Just a few tears and then very proud of his plaster! But still I just wanted to wrap him in my arms to express to him that I was there, and always would be there, to protect him as much as I could.
Swimming was a very subdued affair; he wasn’t interested in doing much except floating and his teacher was so accommodating and understanding (she’s a mom of 3 boys). After swimming he just couldn’t contain his emotions any longer and started to sob. So home we rushed and I snuggled with my precious boy while he fell asleep. Not actually wanting to leave his side but knowing he’d be fine & perfectly safe in the cocoon of our bed.
My heart is still sore for him; hearing those sobs after swimming makes me want to sob myself but I know that if he saw me crying it would just unsettle him so I remained strong for him. Because that’s what we do; we protect our young!