Aug 16, 2018
Why do we all have such a tough time with mothers guilt? And why do we experience it so often?
This evening we had a wonderful time before bath time with Tristan doing a very funny ‘macig sow’ aka magic show, he even headed off to bath as soon as I told him it was time. He wanted to take an old computer piece of hardware into the bath with him but I said no. Shaun took over as he always does and they got on with bathing. A few moments later all I could hear was Shaun saying no repeatedly and Tristan upset & crying because he’d been told no. I knew what it was about and it really annoyed me. Tristan, as like any toddler, pushes the boundaries to get his own way but this evening it just annoyed me more than usual and I got cross. I stormed through to the bathroom, yanked him out the bath and gave him a smack! (Sod off if you’re about to say I’m a bad mom for smacking my child, I don’t need people like you in my life). I then put him on the bed & got him dressed. I explained to him why I was cross and so did Shaun and he, like the amazing little boy he is, said sorry mom, sorry dad and looked very apologetic.
My heart melted. Why did I have to get cross with him like that? He wasn’t doing the behaviour on purpose to annoy us or disobey us, he was just being a toddler and that’s ok. But I’m also allowed to get cross and annoyed when he pushes the boundaries all the time. I felt so guilty, I cuddled and kissed him, I told him I was sorry for getting so cross with him, but it did nothing to ease my guilt for getting cross with him.
All I want to do is raise him right, do the right things by him, teach him the right morals & manners but he’s only 2,5 years old. He’s still so small & young how can I expect such grown up behaviour from him? I guess we will always wonder if we’re doing the right thing and with that comes the ever present mothers’ guilt.